Why Waiting To Divorce A Narcissist Is A Mistake

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Making the decision to divorce is difficult, but waiting to divorce a narcissist Is a mistake. 

I talk to people every day who know they need to get divorced but they feel a block. They just can’t do it. They give me all the reasons in the world: Will the kids be ok? Will I be able to survive financially? Will my spouse change? 

As we talk it through we find the answers to these questions and come up with strategies, but they are still frozen in place. 

One of the most effective ways to get people to move forward is to let them know what is really at stake. When you take a step back and look at the damage caused by delay, it can motivate you to move forward. 

The three main reasons waiting to divorce a narcissist is a mistake are: 

Waiting can increase the trauma to you and your children

The most important reason not to wait is the potential trauma to you and your children. You know you are in a toxic situation and you know it is not good for your children. The longer you wait, the longer you and your children are exposed to the toxicity. 

The longer you wait the easier it is to justify the way you are being treated. This is a safety issue. This is damaging to your mental health. Talk to a therapist or other mental health professional to learn how to better protect yourself and get to where you need to be mentally to get out. 

Waiting to divorce a narcissist can put you at financial risk

Hurting you and “winning” will be more important to the narcissist than the financial needs of you and the children. 

Oftentimes financial abuse is already occurring in relationships with narcissists but if the narc has any inkling you are considering leaving them, they may try to burn it all to the ground. That can mean racking up debt so there is no money left. Emptying bank accounts, refusing to pay bills, even hiding or giving away money and assets. Some will quit their job to avoid child support and maintenance. 

The best way to protect yourself is to move while assets are still available. Even if they try to move or hide money while the divorce is in progress, through the discovery process we can at least attempt to track it down and get court orders to minimize the damage. 

Waiting can cause you to make poor decisions

Lastly, waiting can make you more likely to make poor decisions. They will try to wear you down to the point where you have no fight left in you. You will roll over and give up everything you and your children are entitled to. Don’t let it get to that point. 

Divorce is a big decision and coming to that decision should not be taken lightly. But don’t let fear and uncertainty freeze you in place and cause you to make decisions that ate detrimental to you and your children. 

Ready to make a move and get your divorce started? Schedule your Case Strategy Session.